The Church Hurt Me. But That’s Not Why I Left Evangelical Christianity.

One thing I hear all the time when I talk about leaving evangelical Christianity is this: “You only left because of church hurt.” And yes, the church hurt me. The church hurt my family. The church hurt people I love. I am not going to pretend that did not happen. But that is not why I left. I was a licensed Southern Baptist pastor for 15 years. I worked in churches in Las Vegas, Southern Oregon, and Northern California. In 2017, I left ministry, and eventually I left evangelical Christianity altogether. Church hurt was part of my story, but it was not the whole story. It was the thing that made me start asking deeper questions. If the church claims to be the body of Christ, if Christians claim they have been changed by Jesus, if the church is supposed to be different from the world, then why did so much of what I saw look nothing like Jesus? That question led me to look closer at the bigger truth claims of Christianity. Biblical inerrancy. Biblical infallibility. The resurrection. Original sin. The canon of Scripture. LGBTQIA+ theology. The story of the gospel itself. Eventually, I realized I could no longer believe the things I had spent years preaching. This is not me attacking people who still believe. Religion and spirituality are complicated. Faith can be deeply personal. I know there are good Christians who love people well. But for me, church hurt was not the reason I left. It was the beginning of me asking questions I could not unask. Follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and Threads: @andyfilmsandhikes Subscribe for more conversations about leaving evangelicalism, mental health, public lands, creator life, and trying to build something honest after burning your old life down. Chapters 0:00 The church hurt me 0:20 Why people assume I left because of church hurt 0:53 My background as a Southern Baptist pastor 1:13 Leaving ministry and starting to deconstruct 1:32 The comments Christians keep making 1:56 Church hurt was real, but it was not the whole story 2:25 The Christian beliefs I no longer hold 3:15 The church claims to be the body of Christ 4:16 Why “you’re just mad at the church” does not work 4:42 The church is supposed to look different 5:50 When Christian behavior does not match Jesus 6:51 Why church hurt became a theological problem 7:12 The questions I started asking 7:38 Examining the Bible and the canon 8:13 When the gospel story stopped making sense 10:02 I respect sincere faith, but I cannot hold it anymore 10:46 Religion and spirituality are complicated 11:14 Where I landed after deconstruction 11:29 Follow, subscribe, and VidCon